I’m sure we’ve all experienced it as some point, at work or a social event, even with friends. There is that person who tends to be quite outspoken about individuals, events, or with news stories and other happenings. That person usually has strong opinions they willingly share in uncompromising words. They aren’t necessarily nasty or domineering, expounding in loud, long explanations. Yet they see their views as truth and speak them with an unequivocal tone and unambiguous words.

When I’m in those situations, I get the image of a clear, sharp edge: one that has the ‘right’ view on one side, and the ‘wrong’ view on the other. There is no softer, wider space for consideration between them, only a sharp divide falling off on either side.

I’ve had to own some of that behavior for myself, events in my younger and middle years that I may have mentioned before. One happened during college at a multi-week summer camp, in the evening. A group of campers were reviewing a book or several weighty passages within it. I didn’t agree with the person who was sharing so I raised my hand and made a sharp dismissal of that person’s view, and presented my thoughts. The forcefulness of my words created an awkward silence and ended any further discussion on that point.

The odd thing was that when I spoke with that person individually at other times during the camp, I listened and considered what they had to say. I’m sure it left them confused! I’ve realized over time that it is easier for me to speak pointedly when I am in an impersonal situation, but much harder when sitting with the person right next to me.

Most people have experienced that hard edge from outspoken people. Maybe you are aware of being that person yourself. I find it is a place where I want to tell, not to share. I want to fix something, not come along side the other person. My urge is to correct and be right, not to take the time to understand. What I have to say may be the truth, but it is spoken righteously and with little care for the person listening.

I’ll add – with a chuckle – if you haven’t experienced this directly, simply watch sitcom or drama shows. You’ll usually find a character with strong opinions who clearly needs an attitude adjustment. They should stop telling or announcing to others, but instead come alongside and listen to their friends. Think, “Abbott Elementary”, or “Friends”, or from way back, “Cheers!”.

Over the years, I’ve learned to soften my responses and step back from the hard edge of opinion and rightness. My tutor had been pain (the resolute teacher of truth). When I see the pain I’ve caused by my words, I’ve found it valuable to look inside myself, see what vulnerabilities I’m shielding others from seeing. I trust that God’s gentle hand is giving me an opportunity to soften the harder places in me, my heart, my thoughts and attitudes.

I’ve kept the memory of that summer camp (and a few others) as a reminder of the hurt my words can cause and as a spur to listen to what others have to say. I work to change from holding a harder edge to be humble, from acting smug to more selfless, from being dismissive to deferential. And when I am around someone with strong opinions, at times flavored with sarcasm or dismissal, I offer grace, knowing they too may be protecting hidden vulnerabilities.

Knowing that the definition of meek includes humble, selfless and deferential, when God says, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth”, that is where I want to be found.