Though I can be a somewhat unemotive person, thinking of the word cherish softens, gentles me, it brings warm memories. My father’s work boots – he was a civil engineer out on many worksites. He passed me a pair of his boots when I was in my thirties. I wore them out. A jean jacket from decades ago, a way of self-expression for me. I keep it in a closet at home.

Those memories pale in comparison a hundredfold to the people I cherish. My dear friends, those handful of them, close to my heart. My grandkids, full of life, smiles, tears, smart, energetic, alive. My four daughters, each like diamonds being polished to perfection. And my wife, where only one thought echoes within me: priceless.

There are other words, excellent words that define essential elements of a relationship, such as desire and commitment and of course, love. Yet for me, those words do not capture the rich feeling born from the word cherish.

When a relationship is young, as love is being established, cherish can find fertile ground to grow in. Yet it may not have time to sprout in today’s fast paced lives, because it takes time to learn about the other person, their thoughts, interests, desires, and dreams. Time is needed to create the relational ground between them. Only then, whether in conversations, activities, listening, or with cards and gifts, can you cherish of someone be expressed.

What happens to cherishing in life’s middle years, when you may feel consumed and distracted and drained? The years of school, marriage, career, children, locations, and friendships to name a few. Cherish is fueled by attention to your partner and has an element of fragility. It can soon become overridden in those energy consuming years, with no fertile place to put down deeper roots.

My wife and I experienced those middle years, with all the pressures, demands, and difficulties. God helped “wake us up” at times in those years to pay attention. We stopped our doings and busyness for a moment and saw each other. And sometimes in those moments, we found time to dance, It provided a place for us to cherish each other. Whether a waltz, the swing or a slow dance, in the movements we found a place to cherish each other with hands touching, mirrored dance steps, the music, and the laughter.

I retired a few years ago, and my wife soon after. Many unplanned events sent us on busy, circuitous side roads – renovating daughter’s home, previous job call-backs, COVID, etc. All drew our time and attention.  Yet the opportunity to cultivate the soil for cherishing each other remained.

Over time we asked ourselves questions so we wouldn’t lose sight of each other. Did we have fun, shared interests?  Did our life have some sparkle? Did we keep our hearts open to each other? Did a sly smile and a wink brighten the moment?

How do you cherish your partner or friend? Do you dance together, whether out on a dance floor, or in the living room, whether to music or to your own beat? Then play the song Cherish, by Kool & the Gang, take the hand of the one you cherish, and dance.